The Path

I arrived at Couer D’Alene
in the sunshine
at the end of August

Preparing to walk
the familiar short path
through deep trees
towards the hills

The bridge where
we played billy goats gruff
with the children
is exactly the same

The devils club
and ferns sparkling
with rain drops

But the path
where I’ve come for
the fall colors
on my birthday
year after year
is totally different

Big trees are downed
from Spruce beetle kill
blocking the path
routing one far uphill.

And the light
floods into
what was once
deep forest with a single
pine needled trail.

So odd.
More light
yet not passable.

How like my inner life
flooded with light
sparkling with reflected
water drops of all colors.

The sky is huge
I can see the mountains
on three sides of me
but the old familiar trail is impassible.

The old path of
service to others
regardless of the cost to me
of giving when
I’ve no more to give
has become impassable.

Now the path is
rerouted anew
unknown
unclear
and yet

I serve the light

I serve the light created by my intention
as defined from within
not from without
from the old martyr
definition of service.

There is no victim
Here within me.

I serve the light
Of peace and contentment
joy and harmony
and growth

Growth of finding
the new path
the one that releases me
from the old patterns

The old patterns of
a good woman gives more
than she has.
A good woman stays
until death.
A good woman
never gets angry.

This weekend
I camp alone.
filling my cup
with people silent.
Creek’s running
raven’s calling and
the tide surging in and out.

I could have stayed
to help with the grandchildren.
A “good woman” would have.
I’ve graduated.

I graduated to a path
that only opens right
in front of me.

I graduated to knowing
I have to fill my own well
To be able to walk with Tera.

I’ve graduated into
loving me enough
to fill my well
ever with the intention of joy and peace.

Lizette Stiehr
August 29, 2009

At the campground above Hope. Alaska